


On The Stage, You Can Cry

by Princess_Peregrine



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Peregrine/pseuds/Princess_Peregrine
Summary: songs used are "you found it" and "when it ends" by Damone





	On The Stage, You Can Cry

Catra walked back into the bar for the fourth time that week and waited. She dropped off her speaker last week, expecting to come back frequently from now on. After all the wake up sign that she needed to do more with her time hit her pretty hard in the face. It wasn't exactly subtle either. She used to show up every other week with her speaker in a dolly, wheeling it to the bar and back every time she came. If she was going to be coming more often she might as well leave it there. Although nowadays it wasn't even a bar. The place had been bought out sometime in the last year and was just a club now. Which was better for her. She couldn't exactly just waltz in and schedule a time she was going to play, she had to meet with the manager and fill out a form. Now she just had to write the times she was going to play on a piece of paper in the back room and it was hers. 

She still carried her guitar with her though, that was too expensive to leave behind. Although if she could actually get paid for any of what she did that would be great too, but unfortunately, lawyers are expensive. No lawyer, no manager, no talent scouts, no record deal, it was that simple. All for the best she assumed. That would be too much paperwork on her side anyway. And she wasn't fond of not being lazy. 

“Catra, you're playing again?” One of the workers said as they approached her with a clipboard. Catra was feeling drained from the day and didn't actually say anything except for vaguely tilt her head in the girls direction. “Okay, well you're on after this clown.” The lady pointed to the guy on stage that was failing to make the crowd laugh. Catra almost felt bad for him, but she wasn't even listening to him. 

Time rolled by and Catra hefted her speaker onto the small stage and plugged in her guitar. She started singing and got a few cheers from the crowd that went along with their days. No one really listened to what she was singing. They might have acknowledged that her singing was good but ultimately they didn't care. No, what they cared about was eating the crap burger their friend lied and said was good. Sure when she started she thought they were listening to her, that they cared. But she's been there enough and sang enough and messed up enough to know no one there really cares. She's the background noise. Any noise she makes is background noise. All the way from the perfect opera note to the most difficult guitar solo to crying. It was liberating to sing up there like that. To not feel like she had to be a little quiet not to disturb anyone. 

“Tell me tonight, your conscious is alright, nothing to write home about.” No one would judge her for giving the song she wrote it's all even if they didn't like it. What would they do? Tell her to be quiet? “Until one day, you found it! Throw your arms, around it! Be kind and be strong, and don't let them tell you it's wrong!”

She could sing for ages if she had written more time. She knew she could too. She could have taken an entire hour out like he had done earlier in the month. She had done it directly after her break up and sang her heart out. But she wasn't as fueled as she was then and wouldn't be able to last that long on stage. So she settled for about twenty minutes. She had been coming three times a week at this point. The manager had joked about hiring her. Which she thought about bringing up again soon. See if she was actually joking or if Catra could actually get paid for singing on stage. She'd seen that kind of thing in movies, but usually for blues singers. 

Catra sang and sang for the rest of the time not really looking around much. After one of her songs she heard a shy clap from someone who didn't know if they were supposed to or not. But that was about all the attention that was directed her way. 

Last song, Catra thought. She surveyed the crowd while tuning her guitar. It was an old habit from when she didn't know how to play properly. Constantly checking the tuning after every song she practiced to see if it was out of tune. When she was younger it would get on, her, nerves a lot. Catra had to stop herself. It was time to continue the songs she had. Although it would be hard for her to focus on just her singing now. After all she had written this song about her, Adora. 

“Yeah? So? I could have done better, tell the rest to the man on the weathered couch. It used to be we'd all stick together, even when our ties all withered out. If you're so unhappy locked inside your house, then maybe just come out.” 

Crying was okay too. A few tears leaving her face every now and again, wouldn't bother anyone. 

_Hey man you could have done better yesterday is gone or whatever now. And I don't know a way to live forever, that's not up to be to figure out, yeah._

It was a tense time when they broke up. Adora didn't really see anything wrong, but that's because she couldn't really figure out when she didn't ask. Nothing actually happened, there was no fight, nothing that broke the camels back. It was more like the camel just left. They had been living together for a few months and Catra thought this would mean they'd be closer and happier. But that vision started to die when Adora just didn't talk to her anymore. Adora would come home and Catra would try to talk but Adora was always too shut down to talk to her. Either Adora would work or she would get home late. And even when Adora had time for things she would ignore Catra.

_If I had to spell it out for you, I'd write it down in my blood!_

The silence had gotten to Catra. She was so lonely around Adora now that she couldn't take it anymore. The final week they were together Adora hadn't even said a word to her, not even to say goodnight as fell asleep in their own bed. Catra didn't even feel like she was allowed to even touch Adora she had grown so distant. 

_Cause I don't wanna be there when it ends, to be there when the curtains fall! Yeah. And I don't wanna be there when it ends, to see them when they take it all, it all, from you._

Catra brought it up casually during breakfast. And, to her shock, nothing big happened. She had expected an event, she thought she knew the person she grew up with, there should have been a fight. But when she asked if Adora wanted to break up and move out, she said sure. Adora hesitated, but gave the answer, just like that. Adora's stuff was out of Catra's house within days and Adora stayed at her friends place. There was just something so dead about Adora now, she couldn't understand why she didn't make a fuss. They had been in love with each other before, and nothing came around to ruin that, so why was she so okay with leaving her. 

_Hey man, you could have said nothing, after all the words just bring us down. It used to be a lot more cunning, and that's the way we all get spun around. And if I had to spell it out for you, I'd write it down in my blood! Cause I don't wanna be there when it ends, to be there when the curtains fall. Yeah. And I don't wanna be there when it ends, to see them when they take it all, it all, from you._

Catra didn't understand how everything had happened. She didn't even want to break up, she was still in love with Adora. It just didn't make any sense. She cried about it for long enough before she was upset about it. Angry at Adora for saying yes. Making her feel distant. In a rage trashing her own house and wearing herself down. Calling Scorpia and Entrapta to help her figure out what was going on. They didn't know anything so they just listened as she talked, that was all she really wanted from them at the time. She had even called Glimmer about it, Adora was staying with her after all and she said she couldn't get anything out of Adora about why she was there. Adora had told Glimmer, nothing really. And now Catra hated Adora. Their whole relationship fizzled into what she described as, nothing, how could she. 

_And if I had to spell it out for you, I'd write it down in my blood! Cause I don't wanna be there when it ends, to be there when the curtains fall. And I don't wanna be there when it ends to see them when they take it all, it all, from you. I don't wanna be there. I don't wanna be there._

“I don't wanna be there! When it ends.” Catra sang as tears rolled down her face. She was crying, that's fine. Crying is fine there.


End file.
